This moment counts

As the year comes to a close many people tend to reflect upon the past twelve months of their life and take inventory of accomplishments, failures or changes in general. Most will come up with some new years resolution, some will follow through and others will not.

For me the process of this started early. I woke up one morning about two months ago with the oddest feeling of being lost and very small, insignificant even. Not the typical depression I tend to feel around the holidays but a much calmer, more comfortable loneliness. After a week or two of letting the depression stir, I decided that it was enough. I am through feeling sorry for myself. I have spent the last two years grieving for a failed marriage, the rift this caused between my teenage daughter and I, and a run of bad luck. I needed time to heal, and I took it. It is time to move on.

So now what? What am I to do with this new feeling of self worth? Let it go unanswered and continue on in the same manner as always? Or use the momentum of the moment to "Dream big" and do the things I have always wanted to do but never had the chance?

I say I never had the chance to do any of the big things I have wanted to do. That's not entirely true. The truth is, I have always been this guy who goes with the flow. Seldom taking risks, never making the big decisions for myself, always relying on others to point me in the right direction. Even though this has generally put me in a good place it has never gotten me closer to any of my dreams. It has kept me in a safe place. Leaving me to feel content where I am.

From now on I will be proactive. Not only will I dream big, but I will go after those dreams. I will make the year ahead a good one. And I will do what it takes to make it so.